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Wedding Etiquette: 10 Things You Should Do as Parents of the Couple

#1: Ask the couple what you can do to help make the planning easier for them.

Many times, the couple wants to include their parents in the planning journey. We also know that if mom and dad meddle too much, things can get uncomfortable for everyone. Remember that weddings are a reflection of independence. The couple choices are certainly not a reflection of parenting skills.

#2: Ask the couple what their vision is for their wedding before offering advice.

Weddings are sentimental for parents. All parents want their son or daughter to have a dream wedding.

Keep in mind that this is THEIR DAY. Before offering advice, proper wedding etiquette dictates that you get to know how they envision their wedding to be first before injecting your ideas and opinions.

#3: Offer to pick-up breakfast or lunch the day of the wedding.

While you’re soaking up every single moment of your wedding day, there’s one thing you can’t forget to do—you still have to eat! This is a perfect task for a dad or father-in-law.

#4: Speak with as many guests as you can during the wedding day.

Wedding day timelines just don’t allow the couple to spend as much time with each guest as they’d like. But knowing this doesn’t lessen their guilt. As parents of the newlyweds make their guests feel welcome by engaging conversation, small talk is better than no talk.

#5: Preparing for a speech before giving it at the wedding.

Most humans are not gifted spontaneous speakers. If you want a poignant accolade, get your thoughts on paper and rehearse it, the way you’d do a mob flash dance. Not only does this show love and support. A well-rehearsed speech means you care. After all, the way you say it is just as significant as what you say.

#6: Suggest planning the rehearsal dinner.

If there’s anything more emotional than the wedding itself, it’s the rehearsal dinner. For some families, it’s an occasion of firsts – first time meeting siblings, grandparents, extended families etc)… Having someone else plan the rehearsal dinner will be a load off the couple’s shoulders. This is a selfless action and a must in any wedding etiquette manual.

#7: Volunteer to plan the couple's engagement party or showers.

Like weddings, these intimate parties require careful planning, and with a several moving pieces to check off, another event can only add to the stress. Why not offer to organize a small event and host? New to the wedding game? Offer to hire a planner.

#8: Help provide addresses for the guest list.

Once the couple has decided on the number of guests to invite, only then should parents ask how many people they are allocated to invite. Stick to the number they give you and create a guest list complete with contact details (address, email and cell number). This is one task that will be greatly appreciated when it comes to sending save-the-date cards, invites, and thank you cards.

#9: Check in with the couple and ask what to wear to the wedding at least 3 months before the wedding so you can get alterations if needed.

Preparation is key for the entire family. The effort it takes to prepare your outfit in advance is a loving gesture to show that you want to look your best on their big day.

#10: Last but not least, be supportive of the couple every step of the way.

Do not hastily assume that your children want your help. Offer your assistance with no strings nor expectation. Your kindness will be remembered even if they decline. In the same light, if the couple requests for help with errands, do respond promptly. You are not obligated to help, but it is important to understand that they value your presence.


Photographer: Sunnie Heers

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